whatever you want here
Thursday, December 27, 2007
feeling miserable.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
"Lonely, lonely christmas.."
this is another xmas which doesnt stir up feelings of goodwill towards my fellow humans. feel like the scrouge or the grinch instead. redeemed myself slightly by watching xmas cartoons with predictable, fairytale endings.
ting and i form e "lonely hearts club" this year, with mac holidaying with his family in china, and darren slogging his butt off in shangri-la. wen is busy working [ poor girl, but at least she's earning BIG bucks! ], both li and lix pang-seh-ed us in the last min for some quality time with their respective beaus. sigh.
simply no mood to work today. was just slacking ard in office today, before going off to meet ting for a romantic xmas eve!! enjoyed the lazy slacking with ting at a TCC hidden in some secluded spot of centrepoint. had a good time catching up with her, talked about lotsa stuff [ like..SEXPLOITS *wink* ] and of course our fav topic, THE MONSTER....ps. we now compare the monster to the MICHELIN logo( spelling?? )it's the tyre company with the marshmallow man as their mascot>>>> must emphasize its ting's idea not mine ok. =x + played a longest game of uno + incurred the wrath of the servers for staying such a long time there again + finished an entire box of guy lian's truffles!! *shocked, horrified, guilty* ok am now suffering the repurcussions anyway >>> pimple outbreak!!
both us were VERY tired with the xmas crowd.
a very unco-operative girl.
our xmas eve dinner, sorry no turkeys or yule logs!
after that was walking around in orchard to walk that heavy meal off. fought through the human wave, suddenly wish that mac was there to act as bouncer, or our fav. MONSTER ard to stomp through the crowd. made lots of racist remarks abt banglas, esp there were two who kept closely behind us for quite some time. was telling ting to be careful about her bag, but she said they were tailing close as we helped to clear a path for them.
bloody hell. was supposed to be the FIRST time im seeing the xmas lights in orchard this year. see, i truly need to get a life. times like these really make me feel xenophobic, racist and claustrophobic.
where have all the xmas trees gone?!! this's e only one left. what happened man? deforestation?? stick to tradition please! skip the elves, fairies, angels and rubbish!
see, this is what i mean. ting said that lucky plaza was planning to reuse the red cloth for CNY, while the reindeer can be made into the stags for "fu lu shou."
conclusion: this xmas gets a thumbs down. -_- ting, get the photos from me ok!
im missing you, more than you'll ever know. everything just remind me of you somehow.
this is another xmas which doesnt stir up feelings of goodwill towards my fellow humans. feel like the scrouge or the grinch instead. redeemed myself slightly by watching xmas cartoons with predictable, fairytale endings.
ting and i form e "lonely hearts club" this year, with mac holidaying with his family in china, and darren slogging his butt off in shangri-la. wen is busy working [ poor girl, but at least she's earning BIG bucks! ], both li and lix pang-seh-ed us in the last min for some quality time with their respective beaus. sigh.
simply no mood to work today. was just slacking ard in office today, before going off to meet ting for a romantic xmas eve!! enjoyed the lazy slacking with ting at a TCC hidden in some secluded spot of centrepoint. had a good time catching up with her, talked about lotsa stuff [ like..SEXPLOITS *wink* ] and of course our fav topic, THE MONSTER....ps. we now compare the monster to the MICHELIN logo( spelling?? )it's the tyre company with the marshmallow man as their mascot>>>> must emphasize its ting's idea not mine ok. =x + played a longest game of uno + incurred the wrath of the servers for staying such a long time there again + finished an entire box of guy lian's truffles!! *shocked, horrified, guilty* ok am now suffering the repurcussions anyway >>> pimple outbreak!!
both us were VERY tired with the xmas crowd.
a very unco-operative girl.
our xmas eve dinner, sorry no turkeys or yule logs!
after that was walking around in orchard to walk that heavy meal off. fought through the human wave, suddenly wish that mac was there to act as bouncer, or our fav. MONSTER ard to stomp through the crowd. made lots of racist remarks abt banglas, esp there were two who kept closely behind us for quite some time. was telling ting to be careful about her bag, but she said they were tailing close as we helped to clear a path for them.
bloody hell. was supposed to be the FIRST time im seeing the xmas lights in orchard this year. see, i truly need to get a life. times like these really make me feel xenophobic, racist and claustrophobic.
where have all the xmas trees gone?!! this's e only one left. what happened man? deforestation?? stick to tradition please! skip the elves, fairies, angels and rubbish!
see, this is what i mean. ting said that lucky plaza was planning to reuse the red cloth for CNY, while the reindeer can be made into the stags for "fu lu shou."
conclusion: this xmas gets a thumbs down. -_- ting, get the photos from me ok!
im missing you, more than you'll ever know. everything just remind me of you somehow.
whatever you want here
Sunday, December 23, 2007
ok. belated birthday entry!!! warning: the following images and entry maybe boring to those expecting a short entry!
simply too tired or lazy to blog these few days, work is draining me like hell, although its an office job. but it makes me knock out straight away on the bus ride home, or after i bathe. wish i could have taken a pic of ting's "zombie-in-a-trance look" when lijie, lixin, ting, lix's hm-ge and co. came down on fri for e interview. ting was commenting "wa i look ard and see all of you look like [ and gave that retarded zombie-in-a-trance look] " LOL. conclusion : this hols SUCK.
anyway quick summary of all the bday celebs this year! much love and thanks to everyone who kept me in their hearts!
1) ting and wen's surprise!! geesh these pair of girls! was making housecalls at wen's on 13/12/07, 'cos she fractured her toe. watched deal or no deal, and was going to return home soon 'cos my parents were simply pissed with me that day..and then wen teh-ed with me to stay, and then suddenly, ting just burst into the room, holding a BIG fruit cake [ we forgot to take pic:( ] . both were laughing at my jaw-dropped expression, but i have to say THANKS!!! totally didnt expected it at all! and it was ting's dad's bday too, and she just rushed over when wen was frantically trying to delay me....I LOVE YOU BOTH!!!
2) ok. it was a total anti-climax when i reached home, to a family that i simply couldnt face. i really dont want to lie to you all, but i do have my own reasons and someone to protect as well..sorry for making mummy cry and i knew she didnt sleep well that night. but i couldnt take the pressure of all 3, and my bro's slap was the straw that broke the camel's back. first time "li jia chu zhou" and trust me, it didnt feel good.
thank you my love, for rushing down from work and offering me your place to run to, thank you for trying your best to cheer me up, got a shock when i got on to the cab and the taxi uncle turned around and burst into a birthday song.
anyway this was the huge birthday tart he bought for me [he remembered that i dint like cake!] , and he even sang me a birthday song with his parents in the living room. thanks swtheart, 'cos i know that you normally consider such things beneath your macho standards. but in the end was simply too full of wen and ting's cake, and anyway, darren's family gobbled it up.
3) it was a japanese dinner with hh, pear, kairu and fang on mon, am still waiting for pics from them! thanks for the lovely presents, and wawa's intro to this well quite different place la. sushi only 99cents per plate! but i think the rest of the food was ok lorx. interested, please ask me for directions! missed hanging out with them, and spent alot of time reminisicing about days in malay dance. that control, discipline and focus while directing parts of your body to move in a certain way..exquisite. and people do bond together when put through months of training and training. but somehow..the feeling has changed a little..sigh. friendship. sigh.
4)dinner at manhatten's at central with lixin, lijie, ting n huimin!! first time eating manhatten's [ sorry im swa ku=p] thanks for li, for rushing down straight from camp, knew that you must be super tired!! welcome back lix! though no results with him after promising us that there would be progress. -_- hmmpf.
group photo! first time going out as a group, though wasnt really fun..'cos was super shagged from work, mid-week blues, and 'cos no freedom to bitch about XX. omg. which reminds me. was at bugis with wen on sat, saw a female ogre stomping through the crowd on heels, with a tag-a-long monster in tow. parted the human sea more easily then moses parted the red sea, the surrounding people must have felt the tremors and vibrations as she stomped happily to the food shops. ok enough here! else you guys will say im being mean again.
e adorable snowman that ornamented the mini apple crumble log lix and li bought!! could not harden my heart to chomp it into bits, hence its safe in my fridge now. let you off 'cos i find u cute ok! anw it was another surprise, 'cos saw the staff holding a cake, and was just asking li to prepare to sing a bday song for whoever that cake was going to, when the cake went to our table!! dint expect it again, omg huilin you're getting more and more dense, 'cos its like my bday so long alr, and really was SUPER tired that day. thanks guys!!!
pic with li! as you can see, i look super cui, while li still looks fresh. iron stamina man.
anyway, can we go out without the human blackhole really soon?? sigh, was sneaking messages to the rest during the entire dinner, while we immediately burst into torrents of complains during the toilet breaks. LOL. the friends that bring life into a monotonous work life. thank you thank you thank you!!!
should update more next time. gotta wake at 6 tmr. as darren says, "KNN." [ must emphasize on the "K" and do that slicing the air action with the hand ]
simply too tired or lazy to blog these few days, work is draining me like hell, although its an office job. but it makes me knock out straight away on the bus ride home, or after i bathe. wish i could have taken a pic of ting's "zombie-in-a-trance look" when lijie, lixin, ting, lix's hm-ge and co. came down on fri for e interview. ting was commenting "wa i look ard and see all of you look like [ and gave that retarded zombie-in-a-trance look] " LOL. conclusion : this hols SUCK.
anyway quick summary of all the bday celebs this year! much love and thanks to everyone who kept me in their hearts!
1) ting and wen's surprise!! geesh these pair of girls! was making housecalls at wen's on 13/12/07, 'cos she fractured her toe. watched deal or no deal, and was going to return home soon 'cos my parents were simply pissed with me that day..and then wen teh-ed with me to stay, and then suddenly, ting just burst into the room, holding a BIG fruit cake [ we forgot to take pic:( ] . both were laughing at my jaw-dropped expression, but i have to say THANKS!!! totally didnt expected it at all! and it was ting's dad's bday too, and she just rushed over when wen was frantically trying to delay me....I LOVE YOU BOTH!!!
2) ok. it was a total anti-climax when i reached home, to a family that i simply couldnt face. i really dont want to lie to you all, but i do have my own reasons and someone to protect as well..sorry for making mummy cry and i knew she didnt sleep well that night. but i couldnt take the pressure of all 3, and my bro's slap was the straw that broke the camel's back. first time "li jia chu zhou" and trust me, it didnt feel good.
thank you my love, for rushing down from work and offering me your place to run to, thank you for trying your best to cheer me up, got a shock when i got on to the cab and the taxi uncle turned around and burst into a birthday song.
anyway this was the huge birthday tart he bought for me [he remembered that i dint like cake!] , and he even sang me a birthday song with his parents in the living room. thanks swtheart, 'cos i know that you normally consider such things beneath your macho standards. but in the end was simply too full of wen and ting's cake, and anyway, darren's family gobbled it up.
quite hard to smile and laugh at his stupid antics to cheer me up after crying all the way on the cab. but you just make my heart feel so warm la. :)
went to seoul garden at causeway point the next day [ if i had known wouldnt have bothered to dress up -_- ] and watched warlords. like darren said, it was like his birthday, 'cos we went to eat what he was craving for and what he wanted to watch. darren loved that show, one of the rare times when he didnt fall asleep when watching movies with me. and like a little boy, kept yelling the slogan "qiang $, qiang liang, qiang niang-men" ie. "snatch $, snatch food, snatch women." + kept reciting the pledge of brotherhood with lots of errors. shuddup la stupid. shit u. haha nvm for you 21st birthday it would be MY turn =p
anyway this was before.
and after
super inconsiderate boy just threw whatever shit out of the pan, bet we are on the banlist of the causeway point outlet now =p having fnb exp, we concluded that they were behind "cursing and swearing" [ to use darren's pet phrase] at us, and it was HENG that seoul garden was a DIY place, else the staff would probably be spitting and scooping our food off the floor and putting it on our plates. as for why does the pan looks like shit, it was taken after attempts to cook fried rice, egg omelette, fried noodle and vegetables. simply laughed alot and had lots of fun. stupid asshole, you never fail to make my day =)
he was forcing himself to choke down my omelette=p oops too bad.
and his revenge by making me a weird conconction. once a bartender, always a bartender.
his favourite HM pose. private joke =)
first attempt at wearing fake eyelashes, under wen's "song yong". ok in the end she said it makes me look "yao". thanks ar -_-. but it was HELL wearing that bloody pair of shit, will be quite long before i try it again. dont know how wen can stand it all the time!!
baby, it's you and only you.
3) it was a japanese dinner with hh, pear, kairu and fang on mon, am still waiting for pics from them! thanks for the lovely presents, and wawa's intro to this well quite different place la. sushi only 99cents per plate! but i think the rest of the food was ok lorx. interested, please ask me for directions! missed hanging out with them, and spent alot of time reminisicing about days in malay dance. that control, discipline and focus while directing parts of your body to move in a certain way..exquisite. and people do bond together when put through months of training and training. but somehow..the feeling has changed a little..sigh. friendship. sigh.
4)dinner at manhatten's at central with lixin, lijie, ting n huimin!! first time eating manhatten's [ sorry im swa ku=p] thanks for li, for rushing down straight from camp, knew that you must be super tired!! welcome back lix! though no results with him after promising us that there would be progress. -_- hmmpf.
group photo! first time going out as a group, though wasnt really fun..'cos was super shagged from work, mid-week blues, and 'cos no freedom to bitch about XX. omg. which reminds me. was at bugis with wen on sat, saw a female ogre stomping through the crowd on heels, with a tag-a-long monster in tow. parted the human sea more easily then moses parted the red sea, the surrounding people must have felt the tremors and vibrations as she stomped happily to the food shops. ok enough here! else you guys will say im being mean again.
e adorable snowman that ornamented the mini apple crumble log lix and li bought!! could not harden my heart to chomp it into bits, hence its safe in my fridge now. let you off 'cos i find u cute ok! anw it was another surprise, 'cos saw the staff holding a cake, and was just asking li to prepare to sing a bday song for whoever that cake was going to, when the cake went to our table!! dint expect it again, omg huilin you're getting more and more dense, 'cos its like my bday so long alr, and really was SUPER tired that day. thanks guys!!!
pic with li! as you can see, i look super cui, while li still looks fresh. iron stamina man.
anyway, can we go out without the human blackhole really soon?? sigh, was sneaking messages to the rest during the entire dinner, while we immediately burst into torrents of complains during the toilet breaks. LOL. the friends that bring life into a monotonous work life. thank you thank you thank you!!!
should update more next time. gotta wake at 6 tmr. as darren says, "KNN." [ must emphasize on the "K" and do that slicing the air action with the hand ]
whatever you want here
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
typin all these during work..super slack right? wahhaha.
slack until the boredoom is killing me. -_-
the main purpose for getting an intern this sem was to drown myself in drudgery and monotony, had imagined the pleasure of doing mindless, repetitive work that would numb whatever nonsensical thoughts that are in my brain, suppressed during the exams. however, this aimlessness during work is doing nothing to help at all.
i think im emotionally S-M, fetish for thinking about unhappy stuff so that i can never escape from the emotional quicksand.
longing to meetup with you all again!
im obsessed abt her, haha until ting and wen get so exasperated whenever they see me visiting her blog. seriously, i dont know why either. there's this insatiable desire to be better than her, she's my perverse motivation for trying to lose weight [ to no avail] , she's a source for my feelings of inferiority, conflicted with this guilt and sense of responsibility for her clubbing, trying out smoking, well basically for becoming into some "bad girl" la. practically behaving like her stalker la! but i know darren doesnt even care about her now, so theoretically, why should i bother too? but like i said, its an obsession.
just a post to iron out some thoughts.
slack until the boredoom is killing me. -_-
the main purpose for getting an intern this sem was to drown myself in drudgery and monotony, had imagined the pleasure of doing mindless, repetitive work that would numb whatever nonsensical thoughts that are in my brain, suppressed during the exams. however, this aimlessness during work is doing nothing to help at all.
i think im emotionally S-M, fetish for thinking about unhappy stuff so that i can never escape from the emotional quicksand.
longing to meetup with you all again!
im obsessed abt her, haha until ting and wen get so exasperated whenever they see me visiting her blog. seriously, i dont know why either. there's this insatiable desire to be better than her, she's my perverse motivation for trying to lose weight [ to no avail] , she's a source for my feelings of inferiority, conflicted with this guilt and sense of responsibility for her clubbing, trying out smoking, well basically for becoming into some "bad girl" la. practically behaving like her stalker la! but i know darren doesnt even care about her now, so theoretically, why should i bother too? but like i said, its an obsession.
just a post to iron out some thoughts.
whatever you want here
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
I FORGOT TO DO THE MODULAR PREFERENCE EXERCISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the only comfort i can think of is that nobody likes history modules so the bid points would be low. IT BETTER BE.
and, money matters do "shang gan qing." esp when u have an egoistical, lazy, doesnt like to be tied down, spendthrift bf. and the reason ( more like excuse) for simply neglecting you and throwing you to one side is " i have to work. dont u want me to return you the money earlier? give me 3 mths." and then today, it extended to 4 mths. i know you arent gonna run away and stuff, but, wtf have u been doing for all this while la!! can u like, account to me or sth??!! [ but wtf, u wont even read all this anyway ]
intern turns out to be, not so bad after all. really slack, could actually spend like an hour reading cleo magazines, and then another 2 hrs surfing the web + reading newspapers( on the pretext that im doing research for the F1). learnt alot alot alot..am actually inspired and motivated to take on business, advertising and marketing! nothing beats sitting at a REAL conference table, of a REAL company, meeting REAL advertising firms e.g. Saatchi [ CE regulars!!], attending REAL presentations, pretending to be a REAL pro and offering comments on their presentations, when i actually know nth abt the real-world advertising =x and them treating you like one of the members on the committee and giving you their name cards LOL. but finally understand why ting is so enthusiastic about marketing + advertising stuff now haa.
as you can c, its a very pathetic attempt to cheer myself up. anyway poor wen, take care of yourself alright! hope u recover soon! more than willing to play nursemaid, just give me a call ok!
the only comfort i can think of is that nobody likes history modules so the bid points would be low. IT BETTER BE.
and, money matters do "shang gan qing." esp when u have an egoistical, lazy, doesnt like to be tied down, spendthrift bf. and the reason ( more like excuse) for simply neglecting you and throwing you to one side is " i have to work. dont u want me to return you the money earlier? give me 3 mths." and then today, it extended to 4 mths. i know you arent gonna run away and stuff, but, wtf have u been doing for all this while la!! can u like, account to me or sth??!! [ but wtf, u wont even read all this anyway ]
intern turns out to be, not so bad after all. really slack, could actually spend like an hour reading cleo magazines, and then another 2 hrs surfing the web + reading newspapers( on the pretext that im doing research for the F1). learnt alot alot alot..am actually inspired and motivated to take on business, advertising and marketing! nothing beats sitting at a REAL conference table, of a REAL company, meeting REAL advertising firms e.g. Saatchi [ CE regulars!!], attending REAL presentations, pretending to be a REAL pro and offering comments on their presentations, when i actually know nth abt the real-world advertising =x and them treating you like one of the members on the committee and giving you their name cards LOL. but finally understand why ting is so enthusiastic about marketing + advertising stuff now haa.
as you can c, its a very pathetic attempt to cheer myself up. anyway poor wen, take care of yourself alright! hope u recover soon! more than willing to play nursemaid, just give me a call ok!
whatever you want here
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
ok. quick one here! timecheck: 10 minutes to 2300, and it'll be 20 hours until the end of exams!!
blogging mania lately, with cao-enthu bloggers like wen and ting. thanks ar, so slack!
#$$@#%#$!^#^
nvm, everything will be over soon!
[ trying hard not to think about wen working + prob going zouk later, ting, lix n li out shopping.. :( nvm, at least still have my darling huimin with me!!]
attempting to focus while studying, and suddenly remembered how you guys like to dig for food and mug together. normally dont have the habit of eating late in the night. but, at this moment, all suggestions are helpful!
so am eating a bowl of vingegar + black beans + black fungus now. cousin just gave birth, aunt sent the vinegar over. looks like shit, so wont show any pics of it. eating it is pure torture + ecstacy, taste is indescribable. anyone game enough to try please tell me, have a BIG pot of it stewing at home. and my mum says, the longer it's left to stew..e more potent e taste gets =/
darren's so smart, intentionally left his hp at home. knew that i would get really bad tempered and pissed off at this critical juncture, and would probably spam his phone with lots of irritable stuff. so yours truly is left to vent her spleen by blogging.
somebody pleasseee kick me and force me to continue!!!!!<
guys. simply love to avoid trouble as far as possible. asshole. dont u know that i hope you would be there to let me bite or sth? sigh. but you wont read this anyway.
blogging mania lately, with cao-enthu bloggers like wen and ting. thanks ar, so slack!
#$$@#%#$!^#^
nvm, everything will be over soon!
[ trying hard not to think about wen working + prob going zouk later, ting, lix n li out shopping.. :( nvm, at least still have my darling huimin with me!!]
attempting to focus while studying, and suddenly remembered how you guys like to dig for food and mug together. normally dont have the habit of eating late in the night. but, at this moment, all suggestions are helpful!
so am eating a bowl of vingegar + black beans + black fungus now. cousin just gave birth, aunt sent the vinegar over. looks like shit, so wont show any pics of it. eating it is pure torture + ecstacy, taste is indescribable. anyone game enough to try please tell me, have a BIG pot of it stewing at home. and my mum says, the longer it's left to stew..e more potent e taste gets =/
darren's so smart, intentionally left his hp at home. knew that i would get really bad tempered and pissed off at this critical juncture, and would probably spam his phone with lots of irritable stuff. so yours truly is left to vent her spleen by blogging.
somebody pleasseee kick me and force me to continue!!!!!<
guys. simply love to avoid trouble as far as possible. asshole. dont u know that i hope you would be there to let me bite or sth? sigh. but you wont read this anyway.
whatever you want here
Saturday, December 01, 2007
yeah.
short one. am in the midst of revising for the final twin terrors : art and history [ok i am absolutely convinced im not an arty-farty kind of person] and the decol, taught by super anal prof who expects alot from us. fuck geisha. haha. seriously lost the momentum to study o man..
anyway..learnt, or rather, forced to faced some few home truths. to my beloved students reading this, or guess you would have experienced them already --- friendship.is.a.load.of.shit.
in theorectical, sociological terms, frienship is merely another human bond formed with another individual; its another of the multitude of human bonds e.g. family, enemy, lovers, pet-and-owner, boss-and-employee..
you guys will learnt the hard cold truth, and reality, that people DO make use of one another to protect or achieve their self-interests. it's not being cynical, pessimistic or wadever. face up to the world, humans are selfish. it's the basic code of survival. big fish eat small fish, small fish eat smaller fish, survival of the fittest. those that could somehow act as stepping stones to a better future? good. those whose interests somehow converge with yours? good, but please fuck off when we attain our common goals.
ting told me before that i need to grow up. yup. i admit that im childishly naive. a foolish sentimentalist. someone whom webster's dictionary defines as an "idealist". probably too much shows of brotherhood/loyalty etc.
should learn the truth that, people come and go, different interests leading to different paths. afterall, that's what growing up is all about. Look at our parents, do they still hang out with their friends?? face it man. your friend next to you right now, whom you'r sharing a chocolate fondue with, letting you cry on her shoulder when the fucking bastard hurts you, or baking you christmas cookies....would probably end up as a stranger whom you meet on the streets in the future, and walk past without saying hi.
and they justify it by saying "that's life sweetheart. it's called growing up."
seriously, makes me doubt in the value of being a human, and the worth of human bonds. nothing is sincerely real i guess. girl, you are a stupid fool.
i knew these all along, but belived that things can take another route.
but somehow, time and time again, im forced to admit that, human relationships, or so-called "friendships", are just a temporary convergence of interests. after that, do me a favour, and fuck off.
im trying not to cry as im typing this. dont even know why the tears are falling. it's been ages since friendship problems can make me cry.
short one. am in the midst of revising for the final twin terrors : art and history [ok i am absolutely convinced im not an arty-farty kind of person] and the decol, taught by super anal prof who expects alot from us. fuck geisha. haha. seriously lost the momentum to study o man..
anyway..learnt, or rather, forced to faced some few home truths. to my beloved students reading this, or guess you would have experienced them already --- friendship.is.a.load.of.shit.
in theorectical, sociological terms, frienship is merely another human bond formed with another individual; its another of the multitude of human bonds e.g. family, enemy, lovers, pet-and-owner, boss-and-employee..
you guys will learnt the hard cold truth, and reality, that people DO make use of one another to protect or achieve their self-interests. it's not being cynical, pessimistic or wadever. face up to the world, humans are selfish. it's the basic code of survival. big fish eat small fish, small fish eat smaller fish, survival of the fittest. those that could somehow act as stepping stones to a better future? good. those whose interests somehow converge with yours? good, but please fuck off when we attain our common goals.
ting told me before that i need to grow up. yup. i admit that im childishly naive. a foolish sentimentalist. someone whom webster's dictionary defines as an "idealist". probably too much shows of brotherhood/loyalty etc.
should learn the truth that, people come and go, different interests leading to different paths. afterall, that's what growing up is all about. Look at our parents, do they still hang out with their friends?? face it man. your friend next to you right now, whom you'r sharing a chocolate fondue with, letting you cry on her shoulder when the fucking bastard hurts you, or baking you christmas cookies....would probably end up as a stranger whom you meet on the streets in the future, and walk past without saying hi.
and they justify it by saying "that's life sweetheart. it's called growing up."
seriously, makes me doubt in the value of being a human, and the worth of human bonds. nothing is sincerely real i guess. girl, you are a stupid fool.
i knew these all along, but belived that things can take another route.
but somehow, time and time again, im forced to admit that, human relationships, or so-called "friendships", are just a temporary convergence of interests. after that, do me a favour, and fuck off.
im trying not to cry as im typing this. dont even know why the tears are falling. it's been ages since friendship problems can make me cry.
whatever you want here